


Candles

by hikachuuu



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot, One sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 10:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikachuuu/pseuds/hikachuuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t love, but for him it was good enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candles

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of Candles by Daughter.

It started the first second Junhong saw that wonderful smile, more gums than teeth, but it felt like someone yanked the rug out from under him. Causing him to fall and hit the ground, knocking all air from his lungs and making his heart burst from its boney confines of his chest. He was thirteen, Yongguk was nineteen, painfully shy and awkward even then he showed the kindness to Junhong, taking the younger under his wings despite the age difference. Being in Yongguk’s presence made his eyes light up like the full moon, shining brightly in pure beautiful admiration.

When he was fourteen Yongguk made a deal with him, saying if he did good in school, they’d do a song together, because Junhong’s talent was some of the best he’d heard yet. He felt those butterflies at the words and he was elated as those little metaphorical winged creatures danced around in his stomach.  Maybe this was that teenage love his mother always spoke so fondly of. The kind that made flowers grow along your ribcage and blossom around your heart.

He was fifteen the first time his heart got broken and he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry at Yongguk, but at himself for pinning after a hopeless romance. The girl Yongguk came with was quiet, much like Yongguk himself, small, pretty brown eyes, she was flawless and graceful. Unlike Junhong, who was growing at a rapid pace who stumbled around like a new born fawn in winter trying to grow use to his long gangly limbs. Her name was Seoya and when Yongguk looked at her, it was as if she was his entire universe, like she was the one who kept him here, as if she was his entire reason for existing. Junhong was happy for him, but he still felt that numb, hollow, achy pain whenever he saw the two together.

When he was sixteen and they were constantly training or performing or doing fan signs was when Yongguk and Seoya broke it off, because they could never see each other. Junhong was there when it happened and he was there putting Yongguk back together and he found every reason to hate her. For breaking his hyung, making the eyes he so loved go dull and that gummy smile disappear. He might have hated Yongguk a little more though, even if he loved him more than anything, because even now, this man had control over him and Yongguk had no idea.  For Yongguk not seeing he was there all along and they were _good_ for each other.

At seventeen he somehow found himself in a ‘friends with benefits’ stage with Yongguk and it was during those short moments of bliss he could believe that Yongguk actually loved him like he loved the older man.  Even in the back of his mind a little voice told him he was stupid and going to get his heart broken, _again_.  He was okay with that though, just feeling slightly wanted made him feel good. It was a poisonous mindset, that filled his veins with venom that would slowly kill him, but he was okay with it. He knew there’d be nothing more between them, that it was strictly to bring comfort to the other. Bringing a hot, passionate heat, that’s all, completely physical, but he felt important in those moments.

It wasn’t love, but for him it was good enough.


End file.
